Gratitude

Thank you to you I cannot name
Because it may give away too much of me
Too soon
Thank you for the smiles you paint on my face
The tears you force out
Reminding me of those brighter days
Kept buried, kept secret
To calm my heart, accept what is

I sit here, naked, exposed
The lingering pain of last summer's failed attempt at love
Fueling my anger, regret, disappointment
Forcing me into this solitude
Dulling the colors of my feather dress
I ache for open windows and the songs of fellow birds
Free and soaking up the spring sun
But not yet

I tune out the sadness with loud music and whiskey
Winter being so particular cruel
Stole from me a most precious love
Of the unconditional kind
The one whose shoes I'll never fill
The one whose heart was even greater than mine
The one I owe my passions to
Those my mother curses

But slowly your words found their way into my heart
That tender big heart
I wear on my sleeve
Opening my eyes to the wonders of the world
Unknowingly gifting me renewed inspiration
To once again shine, glow, burn
And be the life lover I was
I am