New "job" - day one.

I spent most of my day today studying my new client Molly Secour's work so I can figure out how to best market her product...brand...work - whatever you want to call it. And at the end of this day now, I feel happy, satisfied and inspired instead of drained and brain dead. I really want to make this work. I believe in her and in me and together we shall tour the world and raise awareness about social issues that need fixing...while making a living doing so. How perfect is that picture?

It will be challenging, no doubt. Yesterday my mom laughed at me when we spoke on the phone and I told her that I felt like this might be my one chance to try out my own thing, to work for myself. She reminded me that I said something similar about my first husband and how that ended up being a failure. Thanks mom for the moral support....no worries, I don't need your fucking encouragement right now, I really hoped you would just laugh at me.

Thankfully I am now old enough to know not to take this sort of judgment to heart. As long as I can believe in myself, I will be fine. And in the end, I know that they just want the very best for me to know that I am taken care of...mostly financially. But unlike them, I've never been about the money. I'm more concerned with following my heart to keep my spirit happy. But yeah, I do have to pay rent and eat. I get it.

But positive thinking attracts positive effects. Positive actions lead to positive reactions. If I can focus my energy on making my new life work, in realizing this new dream, then it must simply work out. Worrying does no good. And doubt equals fear, and fear is passive. To move forward in life we must take risks at times, and I'd rather take a risk and fail than not take that risk and wonder my whole life what might have been or who I might have been, had I chosen differently when given the chance.