Growing

I am on fire. I am so amazed by the power of my own manifestation that I think I should get that shit tattooed on my body somewhere.

I was so worried about turning 30 and so sad to leave my 20's behind me, thinking those years were my best. Bah. Definitely not. My 30's are complete bliss so far. And here is why:

1. I am barely working, meaning I get to spend 90% of my time doing what I want and not working for the man. I realize I am priviledged - I have the necessary education that allows me to sit on my ass most of the day and then charge out the ass for what little I do have to work to get by - because I am that good at what I do. Kids: stay in school. Seriously. It so pays off.

2. I no longer wear low-cut shirts and giggle pretending I did not realize how boobylicious my shirt was. I now wear those low-cut shirts with pride and smile when I catch you staring at my titts. I mean, come on, I'd better enjoy them before gravity catches up, right?

3. I am no longer insecure. If I want you, I will lean in for that kiss myself. My confidence is half of my sex appeal. And I don't need to get all boozed up anymore to feel courageous.

4. I don't play games anymore. Keep your unsatisfied rock star ass on that crappy flea market couch at home. I'm really not that into you anyway. I don't wait around for your phone calls and if you think you can wait until 9 pm to "check in with me" then well...you're too late. Chances are I've already made other plans that don't involve you.

5. I now know that I have choices and that I have the freedom to live the life I want for myself. I have learned to stand up for myself and to speak up for myself. I have empowered myself.

6. I also realize now that criticism usually stems from someone else's feelings of inadequacy or insecurity or inability to step out of their comfort zone. Most of the time when someone lashes out at you, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with whatever is going on in their life. So I don't take bullshit drama to heart anymore. Why waste your energy on that? Shrug it off and move on. You are only responsible for your own happiness and well-being. My God, that alone makes for a much happier life. (And I can't believe it took me 32 years to figure this one out.)

7. On that note: happiness comes from within.

Love and light to all of you,
M.